Two days off of school! It's crazy and I'm realizing the perks of teaching. It's giving me a chance to catch up on my other two classes that I am currently taking. Also, I got my praxis scores back and I PASSED! Yay! I was worried for no reason. Rob laughed at me, I really thought I failed and it turns out I came darn close to acing both.
This is all starting to feel incredibly real, like I could be a part of the working world someday soon, with a paycheck to boot. The really crazy part is, I'm actually in a career that fits me like a glove, that I am excited to do, and that I want to be great at. It may have taken me longer than most to get here, but I'm darn glad I'm here.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Day 5
Today was a test day and…it was snowing. This means chaos in kid land. The school was abuzz with early release rumors which turned out to be true. Julie shut the blinds and refused to let the kids talk about it. And here is a big difference between us. I wanted to open the blinds, embrace the snow, and make the kids write a paragraph from the snowflake’s POV as he floats down on a scene from one of their historical fiction books (POV is what we have been working on all week). I wanted to embrace the excitement. Because there is a part of me that is still a middle schooler who is all worked up over snow.
The kids got out after lunch which means 6/7, which is behind the other classes to begin with, is now even further behind. Ugh.
The kids got out after lunch which means 6/7, which is behind the other classes to begin with, is now even further behind. Ugh.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Day 4
I think I’m understanding why I’m feeling overwhelmed here. Here is today’s agenda; Greek and Latin Root words-2 handouts, short response review on overhead, discuss mood, take notes on conflict and plot. They covered 5 concepts in 88 minutes. And they were not linked…at all. She just went from one to the next. I felt totally frazzled. This may work, and it may be a good way, it is not my way. I am a connections freak. I can’t help but see how this world is connected, it’s what I do. And it things are just thrown at me, my brain wants to put them in order, make them make sense in a larger context or it just throws them out. My teaching style is very different than my MT’s. But that’s part of why I wanted to come back here, I wanted a chance to learn about what doesn’t come easy for me.
Julie has complete control of her class, this is my weakness. I am too nice. She has these kids shaking in their boots. And while I will probably never be this, I have already learned a few basic techniques from her. For example, I cannot be afraid of silence.
Julie has complete control of her class, this is my weakness. I am too nice. She has these kids shaking in their boots. And while I will probably never be this, I have already learned a few basic techniques from her. For example, I cannot be afraid of silence.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Day 3
Feeling more confident today, which is funny because I’m feeling totally wiped out. I’m exhausted and getting sick. I’m starting to really plan for my own teaching and the more I plan, the more I realize what I have to do; grades, regular assignments, what do I need to maintain vs. what do I need to change. There is a large part of me that wants to keep the basic infrastructure of the calss the same. I don’t want to go through the chaos that comes with relearning the basics such as seating, how grading works, etc. Is this how I would do it in my classroom? Well, not really. But the reality is, this is not my classroom, or at least hasn’t been for most of the year.
I learned how to do progress book today which is where all the grades are stored. Just by getting a chance to flip through this and enter some grades I feel better about the whole grading thing. I think I get what I need to do here. I also got to grade some short answer essays today. The kids will be taking the OAA while I’m here so I will be doing a week of test prep with them. This essay is just a part of what they will be doing on the OAA. And it’s ucky boring but I understand it’s necessity. This is how they are judged and I am judged and the district is judged. But I don't like it one bit.
I learned how to do progress book today which is where all the grades are stored. Just by getting a chance to flip through this and enter some grades I feel better about the whole grading thing. I think I get what I need to do here. I also got to grade some short answer essays today. The kids will be taking the OAA while I’m here so I will be doing a week of test prep with them. This essay is just a part of what they will be doing on the OAA. And it’s ucky boring but I understand it’s necessity. This is how they are judged and I am judged and the district is judged. But I don't like it one bit.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Student Teaching day 2
Met with the Intervention Specialist (IS) to discuss planning for 6/7 period. I guess its time to introduce them, out of a class of 17 there are 14 on IEPs or 504s. It is supposed to be an inclusion class but because of the ratio it is just a very, very large resource room. Because the number of kids with special needs is so high, they tend to dictate the socially acceptable behavior in the class. Which means sometimes you end the day feeling like you were hit by a bus. A very large, noisy, attitude filled bus. But…and this is my insanity which will most likely fade with the years…this is my favorite class and the class by which I will most likely judge my own success or failure in this school. I like the messy kids a lot. They are far more fun than the kids who just do what you tell them to. Heck, I like messy people in general. And maybe we are all messy, but anyway, I like this class a lot.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Student Teaching day 1
I’m amazed at how nervous I am. You would think I was being forced to start teaching on my first day with the lack of sleep I got last night. I spent the night thinking up things I need to learn about before I can possibly teach and convincing myself there was no way I could ever do this. I was in this class room for three weeks in October for my fields so I should have the advantage over most student teachers. I’d hate to see what I would have been like if I was in a completely new classroom.
I stood at the door on the first day and greeted the students. Only about half said hi. It was so cute. I’m pretty sure the standing rule of 8th grade (middle school in general?) is to deny emotions, affections, or connections to teachers who have not established themselves on the list of acceptably cool teachers. You don’t want someone seeing you being nice to someone who hasn’t been approved. At least that’s how it was when I was there age.
The school has adopted readers workshop as their language arts format and the classes are in block form so we get 88min with the kids. I like this because it establishes a routine but there is a temptation to fall into a mindless routine where the kids do the same things everyday and detach. I have seen routine take the place of instruction in some schools, as if, because the kids do the same thing without complaint every day, they must be learning and engaged.
My MT had to recommend kids for honors English and a foreign language based on grades and effort in the class. I was a little disappointed that the kids had no input on the decision. I would have liked to have known where they saw themselves.
Also, Rob is still jobless and I have the increasingly overwhelming fear that I will not be able to get a job after this. Because it is becoming more and more important to the survival of this little family that I do get a job.
I stood at the door on the first day and greeted the students. Only about half said hi. It was so cute. I’m pretty sure the standing rule of 8th grade (middle school in general?) is to deny emotions, affections, or connections to teachers who have not established themselves on the list of acceptably cool teachers. You don’t want someone seeing you being nice to someone who hasn’t been approved. At least that’s how it was when I was there age.
The school has adopted readers workshop as their language arts format and the classes are in block form so we get 88min with the kids. I like this because it establishes a routine but there is a temptation to fall into a mindless routine where the kids do the same things everyday and detach. I have seen routine take the place of instruction in some schools, as if, because the kids do the same thing without complaint every day, they must be learning and engaged.
My MT had to recommend kids for honors English and a foreign language based on grades and effort in the class. I was a little disappointed that the kids had no input on the decision. I would have liked to have known where they saw themselves.
Also, Rob is still jobless and I have the increasingly overwhelming fear that I will not be able to get a job after this. Because it is becoming more and more important to the survival of this little family that I do get a job.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Interviewy gooey kablooey
Six months later and we are still standing. Pretty much. I do believe the tough times make us stronger but, my oh my, I would take the easy less strong and/or wise path sometimes. Rob is still sans job but he had a really promising interview today at the company where his dad works. For the first time since the layoff I put out a public plea for prayer. For some reason, my crying and praying and pleading with God has been far less this time around. My anger on the other hand, has been whispering in my ear a little louder. While I truly think anger can be a wholly justified and healthy emotion, I think there are times when it is just straight up destructive and energy zapping. In this case, the destructive energy zapping kind is what I am suffering from. I feel like a spoiled kid kicking the walls screaming "not fair!" The irony is that I'm kicking the walls of my warm, food filled, sweet little 100 year old house (happy b-day baby) filled with the three men I love more than life itself.
I spent a week with two people who are divorced (from each other) recently. They were spending time together for their son and I admire that. One half of the couple had made choices that had exploded all of their lives together, their family, into tiny little fragments that had lodged themselves painfully into all those close to them. There was nothing pretty about their pain. And for one of them, it was absolutely not the life they ever had foreseen for themselves of their child. And they had zero control, their life was at the mercy of someone who made bad decisions. What I took from this, selfishly, was that I would take being poor and unemployed with a strong family and marriage a million times over being divorced. Also, it made me realized that people can be selfish jerks. But I guess I knew that already.
Ok, I still want Rob to get a job. Desperately. In large part because I want my hubby out of the house and occupied with something productive.
I spent a week with two people who are divorced (from each other) recently. They were spending time together for their son and I admire that. One half of the couple had made choices that had exploded all of their lives together, their family, into tiny little fragments that had lodged themselves painfully into all those close to them. There was nothing pretty about their pain. And for one of them, it was absolutely not the life they ever had foreseen for themselves of their child. And they had zero control, their life was at the mercy of someone who made bad decisions. What I took from this, selfishly, was that I would take being poor and unemployed with a strong family and marriage a million times over being divorced. Also, it made me realized that people can be selfish jerks. But I guess I knew that already.
Ok, I still want Rob to get a job. Desperately. In large part because I want my hubby out of the house and occupied with something productive.
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