I don't usually like to post quotes. I like reading them, but I just don't have the personal connection with them that some people do. But this one changed my life a few years ago and I was reminded of it today and I thought I should get it down where I can easily find it again. I used to think that what other people thought of me was more important than what my own hubby thought of me. I was prone to being an ass to him at any given moment. This quote changed that.
My mom asked me today if I thought it was possible to teach a person something from one's own experience. I mean, as a mom, as a parent, its our highest goal. We want to spare our kids the pain of our mistakes, we want to give them the wisdom that we ourselves earned through experience. But I'm not sure we can, not really. I think we set up norms for our kids, I think just by living with them and interacting with them, and loving them, we set up their expectations for the world. Then they go out and generally function within these parameters. Not always, but generally. Its a whole, the apple doesn't fall far kind of thing. We are comfortable with what is familiar and we will seek to create surroundings that fit within our childhood expectations of 'how things should be'. But real wisdom, I'm just not sure how much we get to impart. The times I've really been struck by other people's experiences are when those other people are not close to me. I am more likely to listen to someone whose flaws I am unaware of, someone who is an ideal (such as a Writer, a Leader, etc) rather than a actual participating member of my daily life.
If someone, say my mom, had said 'quit being a witch to your hubby' I would have said, 'mind your own dang business. I grew up with you. I know how you can be.' I never would have heard the truth or the wisdom. And yet Maya Angelou, someone who, for all I know could be a total meanie to her family, changes my perspective on life.
Just saying. Seems unfair. The people you love the most, you hear the least. And vice versa.
