Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Interviewy gooey kablooey

Six months later and we are still standing. Pretty much. I do believe the tough times make us stronger but, my oh my, I would take the easy less strong and/or wise path sometimes. Rob is still sans job but he had a really promising interview today at the company where his dad works. For the first time since the layoff I put out a public plea for prayer. For some reason, my crying and praying and pleading with God has been far less this time around. My anger on the other hand, has been whispering in my ear a little louder. While I truly think anger can be a wholly justified and healthy emotion, I think there are times when it is just straight up destructive and energy zapping. In this case, the destructive energy zapping kind is what I am suffering from. I feel like a spoiled kid kicking the walls screaming "not fair!" The irony is that I'm kicking the walls of my warm, food filled, sweet little 100 year old house (happy b-day baby) filled with the three men I love more than life itself.

I spent a week with two people who are divorced (from each other) recently. They were spending time together for their son and I admire that. One half of the couple had made choices that had exploded all of their lives together, their family, into tiny little fragments that had lodged themselves painfully into all those close to them. There was nothing pretty about their pain. And for one of them, it was absolutely not the life they ever had foreseen for themselves of their child. And they had zero control, their life was at the mercy of someone who made bad decisions. What I took from this, selfishly, was that I would take being poor and unemployed with a strong family and marriage a million times over being divorced. Also, it made me realized that people can be selfish jerks. But I guess I knew that already.

Ok, I still want Rob to get a job. Desperately. In large part because I want my hubby out of the house and occupied with something productive.

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