De-nemesized

Well, the battle of the nemesis is off. Come to find out, she's just cross-eyed and hasn't figured out the "looking at people from a specific angle as to minimize the cross eyedness". So, yeah, she gives everyone that look. I sort of feel bad for her now. It's ok, I really had few real plans. Although now the T. Ho's peeps are just giving me random prices. Everyday, I get the same drink and everyday it costs something different. I think they are all screwing with me now.
Anyway, now I have free time and nothing to do. One of my very best absolute soul mate type best friends moved away this last weekend. I thought I was doing ok with it but now as I look back on the last few weeks, I realize I've been really not ok. I miss her and that is that. It's funny how someone I've only known for two years really carved a giant place in my life. The night before she left we went to our favorite hang outs and ended up back at my house with a fabulous circus print fabric we found at wal-mart on clearance and we sewed skirts for ourselves. They turned out great and now we can match from two hundred miles away. If you read this Val, we need to coordinate our circus days.
The point of the story is that I think I'm going to start trying to sell what I sew. A friend of mine said at our women's church group thing, "look where God is working in your life and then go in that direction." And though I don't think she meant it in this way, I started looking and realized that I have become obsessed with fabrics and sewing. Sewing has become my zen time. I'm not given the chance to get out and have quiet alone time the way I like but sewing has become that quiet meditative time that I need. It fills that place up in me so that I can go out and face the kids and the mommies and the family and friends and what not. So I think maybe it's time to take the next step.
The funny thing is, ever since I decided to do this, I've become paralyzed. I've spent more time on the computer looking up people who sew better than me (um, almost everyone) and coming up with reasons why my ideas are lame and overly simple. Which btw is another form of selfishness grandiose-ness which is stupid and something I need to avoid. Arg,